Lonely
by Aeyria
Summary: I'm sorry, even when I'm with you, I'm still lonely. I must be lacking when is comes to love. Please forgive the horrible person I am.  Rated Just To Be Safe


**Lonely **

**A/N: **Hi all you people. I'll be posting the 10th chapter to Stay By My Side in a few days... I hope. I just made this one-shot out of the blue. So, I know all you guys _don't _want a depressing one-shot from me anymore, but I can't help it. ;^; This time there's a happy ending, I think. I hope that makes up for it. If it doesn't, SORRY~! ;(( So basically, beginning is kinda sad, ending is hopefully sweet? Anyways, this song is 2NE1's Lonely. Love the song~ :DD But this isn't going to be a song-fic. But I revised some of the lyrics of the English translation to sentences, so those will be added in the story, but not as lyrics. And the thoughts of Ai during her "trance" will be in italics. Eh, just read on so that you'll understand what I mean. Sooo, enjoy~~ ;DD

**Disclaimer: **Blah, blah, blah. I'm not Gosho Aoyama. I don't even know Japanese. I'm currently studying Korean. Do _I _look like him -Points again-? Nooo, so go into a little corner and this fic I made. Shoo. Wait! I just remembered, I don't own 2NE1's Lonely song either. Credits for the song go to YG Entertainment. Okay, now go into your corner.

**(Ai's POV) **

Autumn leaves swirled and whirled around, gently landing onto the growing pile. A cool breeze swept the air, brushing my locks of hair and spreading them into strands before returning to its original state. Golden red-orange light rays were fading to the deep royal blue color. Darkness crept into existence once more as the time ticked longer. Crickets began conducting their melody for the night. Exuberant yells and squeals of the younger kids depleted as they went for their comforting bed.

I, on the other hand, kept strolling along the shrubs and bushes lined up near the sidewalk. Raising my hand, I trailed my slender, pale fingers against the outreaching shrubbery leaves. While doing this action, my mind wandered once again...

_I didn't know if the words I had said to him had hurt him forever. Ever since I had shrunk, I hadn't trust anyone, so I would have a cold expression. When I had first saw him, I lashed out, not caring for anyone's feelings. Did it make him hate me forever? _I shuffled on, creating distance between Hakase's house and where I stood.

_But ever since I had gotten used to his company, he always said I'm not the same as I used to be. Well, that's not _completely_ untrue. Because, right now, I'm also a stranger to myself. I act differently now. It's not "me" anymore. I'd seen _life_ now. And that opened my eyes to all the extraordinary things out there. I don't think the same. I don't act the same. I don't... love the same. _Stopping momentarily, I shut my eyes, fisting one of my hand and bringing it to rest against my forehead, as if I have a fever. Then I continued on wandering aimlessly while the sky grew darker. The sun was nearly done setting, and would become non-existent in this area until the next morning.

_He was always so kind and caring to others aside from me... But now... I just don't get the way he is right now. Through the long months, he's changed too. Arrogance dripping away. Cockiness fading. Sympathy painted on. The way he is right now is new. He doesn't even think about _her_ anymore. He doesn't talk about _her_ anymore. _Plucking a leaf off a nearby tree branch hanging out into the sidewalk, I began twisting it around my fingers, still in my trance-like state. I knew I shouldn't have done that to the tree, but at this moment, I couldn't help it. In the back of my mind, I knew with the slightest hint that Hakase would start looking for me or send someone out because I had left shortly after dinner. Of course, I was under the cover of saying I was going to check on the flowers outside.

_I don't know. I don't know. Why do I feel this way toward him now? I've always kept away in the bud of the icy rose I kept around me. Petals shielding around me for any second attempt at "attacking" me. Thorns keeping away others from picking me up. Somehow, he was able to penetrate those forces so easily and not know about it. _I dropped the leaf, watching it float lightly onto the ground. Then it blew away in the breeze, leaving no vestiges behind.

_I am so in love with him now, but now you're... I don't know... Recently you have been separating yourself from everyone. The only person you would talk to is your Okaa-san and Hakase. Why? I just want to find myself right now so that I don't have to be paranoid with everything. _Running my hand through my soft strands of hair, I stifled the sigh that threaten to spill out of my mouth. I just had to come and start thinking about all this today.

_Is it me? Was it I who made you isolate? I'm sorry, even when I'm with you, I'm still lonely. I must be lacking when is comes to love or care... Please forgive the horrible person I am. I hadn't meant to ruin your life by indirectly shrinking you. It was a mistake... But no one sees pass that. _This time I couldn't keep it in. Sighing heavily, I bent down to pick a few stray wild flowers from the lawn of a house that was on sale.

_I'm sorry. This is our story. But... I must not be worthy of this thing called love._

_Even though I'm still by your side... _I ran my fingers along the stem of the flowers, hesitantly brushing against the fragile petals.

_I'm so lonely... Lonely... Lonely... Lonely... Lonely. _The mantra played in my head non-stop. Blinking hard, I tore off the petals of the flowers I had stolen from nature. Gathering them onto my palm, I fisted my hand to let them stay there before the wind could carry it away like it did with the leaf.

_You hadn't done anything wrong, for it was me. I had steeled myself for the truth long ago. _That_ girl wasn't me. It was never me. Why of all thoughts would I think that? _Deciding to let the petals wander, my fingers released their grip. Dancing around in the air, the petals whipped away, taken by the ever moving breeze.

_I treated you so well at that time. It was out of respect you could say. It was a slow, threading-together friendship... Then... How come when I'm confronted by love... I keep shrinking away; becoming endlessly lonely? _Flower stems still taking refuge in my hand's grasp, I chose to let them have a similar fate of its petals. Loosening the grip it was surrounded in, the stems fell to the ground, and I kept moving onward. There was no real destination in my mind. I knew I would turn back, I always had to.

_Cause I'm... Just another girl_

_This night is so lonely... I... _

_Can't take is anymore. Good bye._

_I'm so lonely. _

_Even though I'm still by your side._

_I'm so lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely... _

I paused in my trek to who-knows-where. A near silent sigh escaped once more. Brushing my bangs out of my face, I tried not to let the single tear from leaking. And the tear didn't. I was done with this matter. If it can't be true, it won't be tr-

"Haibara," A familiar voice softly whisper.

Startled but not showing it, I twisted around to see who it was. Even though I knew who it was, I looked either way. Clouded in my own thoughts, I must have not known the footsteps approaching.

"Kudo-kun..." Speak of the devil, he just _had _to be the one Hakase sent out. This was the first time he had spoken to me for month. "I'm guessing Hakase wants me back. I'll be there." I started backtracking to Hakase's place. Fingers encircled my wrist before I could step anymore further.

"Hey! Wh-" I objected because I really needed to get away from him before all the feelings for him I had _just _locked away spill out again.

Kudo-kun forced me to look his way before letting go of his grasp, "Look, it's _important. _Haibara, please, just listen." His pleading was able to make my decision to be final. I gave in.

"What? If Hakase sent you out here, he would want us to return quickly. So _please_ make it quick," I retorted with a tad bit of impatience. I was ready to get away after he had said what was so "important."

Kudo-kun had his eyes dart from my face, out into the darkness, then to the ground before finally resting his gaze at me again. "Well... You know how I would barely talk to anyone for the past month or two?" After receiving a nod from me, he continued. "I've been talking to Okaa-san and Hakase about... Life... Shrinking...Ran... _You..." _

Disbelief and a dot of hope splashed into me, but I held it inside. The only action I had done to show my former emotion was raising an eyebrow and, "... Oh, really? Why so?" Mentally, I blew out that dot of hope before it could kindle into something bigger.

"Okaa-san... She... She opened my eyes up to the world, you could say. I had always thought that is was Ran who was the one... But..." Kudo-kun trailed off, sounding nervous.

"But...?" I prodded further, ushering him to finish.

"...But... After lots of thinking, isolation, and a type of "counseling" from Okaa-san, I finally realized it wasn't Ran. I had always thought it was her because I knew her since I was little. The thing is, when you're little, you think it'll stay that way for life, so I kept building on to the idea of Ran and I ending up together. If we ever did end up together, fights and arguments would erupt too much due to some differences. And I have to admit, sometimes when I called her with the voice as Shinichi, she sounded more clingy than ever," Kudo-kun managed a half-hearted smile before finishing his statement.

"What I'm actually trying to say is that... I think you may be a better fit for me than Ran will ever be. I-I don't think I can live without you... I... Love you," Looking embarrassed, he looked away before I could stare him in the eye.

Sure, I had hoped for this to come ever since I realized my own feelings. Had I expected this of all times to happen now? No. Just to make sure and test the waters, I objected. "Is that true? I... Don't exactly..."

Leaving the sentence to hang in the air, I waited for Kudo-kun to piece the rest together. I couldn't bring myself to say I didn't believe him. That would go against everything I had mentioned in my trance earlier on. In his mind, I could see everything click together.

"Really, Haibara. I mean it..." Before he allowed any time for me to shoot a comment back, he tugged me closer. "Wha-" was all I managed to say before I felt a soft, warm pair of lips on mine. You could say I didn't believe this was happening. Before I _could_ start believing it, he broke off the kiss.

"...Ai, I mean it 100%," Kudo-kun whispered as he stroked my cheek with care and... Love. "The thing is, what about you?" He continued on, hope rising to his eyes.

"...I..." Flustered, I acted the action that first came to my mind. Leaning toward him, I gave a quick and sweet kiss. "Yes, I do... Conan."

Conan did what every boy would do when they find out that the girl they like returns the affection. He gave a huge grin and gave a swift peck to my lips. Then, he grabbed my hand, our fingers entwining. "Come on, Ai. Hakase is waiting!"

I could only smirk at the last comment. Wasn't it me who told you he was waiting? Nevertheless, I followed after him, our pace at a slow rate. Halfway toward Hakase's house, Conan stopped holding hands with me, and instead, brought me closer to him by bringing his arm around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder in content, lightly sighing. Conan chuckled a bit, and I couldn't help but think: I was always so lonely since Onee-chan died. Still so lonely since I appeared here. Lonely with his company because I wouldn't accept it. Lonely because I was just another girl. But being lonely is just a part of life. That special person will come soon enough. It did for me. Loneliness. Something so tiny but feared by many... Learning to deal with it will just make life easier. Smiling softly, I finally felt safe and at peace at last ever since my family left existence.

**(Hakase's POV)**

"Huh, I wonder what's taking Shinichi so long to get Ai-kun." I wondered aloud. "Hehe, maybe Shinichi finally told her. Ah, I can just hear the wedding bells." My expression turned cheeky when I heard, "Oh my gosh, I can just see everything right now! I'm so glad that I could finally talk sense into that boy!" Kudo Yukiko babbled on, eyes sparkling into stars.

At last, they won't be lonely anymore with each other. Smirking, I mentally yelled in triumph because I always knew this would happen. They had been meant to be together since I had found Ai-kun.

**A/N:** Sappy ending? Haha, I thought so. I tried to take away some of the sappiness by adding Hakase's POV at the end. I meant to end Ai's POV with a more closing sentence, but I forgot it when my brother randomly started singing horribly on purpose to the song that I was playing. -_- Anyways, hoped you didn't hate it too much. Wait, was the ending happy? You tell me, I really don't know if this is your version of happy. Okay, so for those who know Stay By My Side, the 10th chapter will be out a few days after this. Oh yeah, I didn't mean for the one-shot to be that long, I just kept writing... ._. Soo...

-Krystal, signing out~

EDIT: AGHHH. I just read this again to edit some more and it seemed even more SAPPY THAN EVER. I apologize for that! Whenever I try happy, it turns sappy. Haha, it rhymes. Whatever, I just apologize AGAIN!

-Krystal, signing out once again~


End file.
